This week, as part of Surrey Domestic Abuse Awareness Week, we’ve joined with partners to talk about coercive and controlling behaviour. When we discuss domestic abuse, many people often think of physical abuse, but it’s so important we recognise other types of behaviour that can have an equally devastating impact on victims.

If a person has to change what they would normally do, or say, or wear, for example, and is fearful or scared about what will happen if they do not comply, this is called coercive control.

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse because of the presence of fear. Being fearful of a partner is not healthy. The stress affects self-esteem, mental health and physical health.

Some of the signs of coercive controlling behaviour include:

·       controlling your finances, such as taking your wages or benefits or only allowing you a small allowance

·       preventing you from working or studying or controlling your ability to go to work

·       controlling what you wear

·       controlling when you can sleep and eat

·       repeatedly putting you down such as telling you that you are worthless

·       isolating you from friends or family

If you have been the victim of coercive and controlling behaviour, or domestic abuse, we would always encourage you to report it to us so that we can safeguard and support you. If you aren’t ready to speak to us, you can reach out to a number of local or national outreach services which are ready to listen and help you. More details of outreach support are on our website.